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    06 April 2007 Xerox. The OriginalXerox. The Original



    Did You Hear?






    Some people take a while to catch up. A local reader who holds an account with NatWest (National Westminster Bank) in London requested a chequebook.

    They replied: "Regrettably we are unable to send out a chequebook to South Africa due to UN sanctions in place." The bank helpfully suggests a way around this inconvenience: they can, they say, send the chequebook to a UK address from where it can be sent on to SA.

    What, sanctions busting by the corrupt Western capitalist machine while the white racist regime enforces apartheid and Nelson Mandela lies in chains on Robben Island? A luta continua!

    The Sunday Times magazine TV schedule announces: "Cricket World Cup... Super 8 series. Antigua vs Barbuda."

    Errr...

    The fruit seller walks up to the car and says: "Perske, perske. Lekker perske. Net vyf rand virrie larnie."

    Guy in the car: "Is hulle soet?"

    Fruit seller: "Ja meneer, kyk hoe stil sit hulle!"

    The phone bill was exceptionally high, so dad called a family meeting.

    Dad: "This is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office."

    Mum: "Same here, I hardly use this telephone. I use my work telephone."

    Son: "Me too. I never use this phone. I always use my company mobile."

    Domestic worker: "So what's the problem? We all use our work telephones."

    A recent newspaper article suggested that the storms on the east coast might have cost up to R2bn. What a waste of money - they probably did more harm than good.

    A lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

    "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

    "We don't have any money for food," the man replied. "We have to eat grass."

    "Well, then, come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

    "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me."

    "Bring them along," the lawyer said.

    Turning to the other man he said: "You come with us also."

    The second man, in a pitiful voice, said: "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

    "Bring them all," the lawyer answered.

    They all got into the car, which was not easy, even though the car was large.

    Once on their way, one of the men turned to the lawyer and said: "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

    "Glad to do it," the lawyer said. "You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."

    YOU CAN WIN

    You could win a prize or cash by sending news snippets, wit and gossip to Did You Hear? The best reader's contribution each week wins a fashionable Rotary watch, valued at R2 450. Berco Express will deliver it to your door. Two more readers could each win a weekend's accommodation for two at any Protea Hotel in SA. All other published contributions win R200. Please include your name, postal address and telephone number with each entry. Last week's Rotary winner: Rod Pringle, Rivonia. Protea Hotel winners: Peter Fabricius, Parkview; Stuart MacPherson, Newlands.

    e-mail: fmdidu@fm.co.za






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