There's a middle-aged couple who have two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters.They decide to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
After a while, the wife becomes pregnant and, sure enough, delivers a healthy baby boy nine months later.
The joyful father rushes into the hospital nursery to see his new son.
He takes one look at the infant and is horrified. It is the ugliest child he has ever seen.
He goes back to his wife and says there is no way he could be the father of such an ugly child.
"Just look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered," he says.
Suddenly he gives her a stern look and asks: "Have you been fooling around on me?"
The wife just smiles sweetly and says: "Not this time."
"Is there anything wrong?" asks the bartender of the young, well-dressed customer who is staring grimly into his drink.
"Three months ago my grandfather died and left me R100 000," says the man.
"That doesn't sound like anything to be upset about," says the bartender.
"I wish it would happen to me."
"Yeah," says the sour young man.
"But two months ago an uncle on my father's side passed away. He left me R90 000.
"Then last month my aunt passed away and left me R80 000."
"So why are you sitting here looking so unhappy?" asks the bartender.
"This month - so far - not a cent," he says.
A banker calls in an oilman to review his loans.
"We loaned you a million to revive your old wells, and they went dry," says the banker.
"Coulda been worse," the oilman says.
"Then we loaned you a million to drill new wells, and they were dry," says the banker.
"Coulda been worse," the oilman responds.
"Then we loaned you another million for new drilling equipment, and it broke down," the banker adds.
"Coulda been worse," the oilman says.
"I'm getting tired of hearing that," snaps the banker, "how could it have been worse?"
"Coulda been my money," says the oilman.
When visiting SA, Daniel the Englishman, asks a South African friend the question: "Why is it that some South Africans say 'ja' while others say 'yes', if the two words mean the same?"
"Clever people say 'yes' while stupid people say 'ja'," the South African replies.
"So, are you clever?" asks the intrigued Daniel.
"Ja," replies the South African.
On his first day on the job, the trainee dials the kitchen and shouts into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responds: "You fool, you've dialled the wrong extension. Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replies the trainee.
"It's the MD of the company, you idiot," the voice says.
The trainee shouts back: "And do you know who you are talking to, you fool?"
"No," replies the MD indignantly.
"Great!" replies the trainee and slams down the phone.
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